


The Harold (Jose) Song

by vanjiebitchh



Series: One Shots [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Brooke is sad, M/M, Post-breakup, Songfic, so am I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 05:02:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20669750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanjiebitchh/pseuds/vanjiebitchh
Summary: Uhm….I like songfics. Especially sad Kesha ones.





	The Harold (Jose) Song

_I miss your soft lips_  
_I miss your white sheets_  
_I miss the scratch of your unshaved face on my cheek_

I was fresh from the shower, had only been back at the hotel for a half an hour when I fell into bed. I was exhausted. Always exhausted anymore. I was about to close my eyes when my phone went off. ****

***New Text* **

**Big guy:** Facetime? 

Of course. He would want to facetime after one of the most tiring gigs I’ve had in a while. I sighed to myself and hit the button. Jose picked up almost immediately. 

“Hey Twinkle Toes.” He said, his pillowy lips pulling into a wide smile, and doe eyes soft. 

I just smiled back. I took in his surroundings. He hadn’t shaved in a few days. I saw the bedding. Surely those weren’t the same sheets I bought him? Nah. 

“Hey, big guy. What’s up?” 

Jose’s face got serious. “I need to tell you something before the tour starts.” 

I nod in response. 

“It’s not going to be easy, but-.” Jose stopped talking and held up his left hand that wore a simple band on his ring finger. 

My stomach lurched. 

“Brady proposed.” 

My mouth went dry. 

“C-congrats. I’m really happy for you.” 

Silence. I tried not to let the hurt show in my eyes, but I know he saw it. He always sees it. 

“He’s coming on tour with me.” 

_Of course he is._

I nod again, “Congrats.” I said again, “I really need to go to bed. Goodnight.” 

I hung up. Now I have to prepare for a tour with Jose, that’s literally called the Branjie tour. God, you’d think they’d give it up already. Two years is enough. I also have to prepare to see his fiancé every day. Fabulous. 

_And this is so hard cause I didn’t see _

_That you were the love of my life and it kills me_

It took me months to appreciate Jose. I didn’t do it when we were together, that was part of the reason we didn’t work out. I’ve loved him with all my being since then, and I worked twice as hard to hide it. It was important now more than ever that I continue to hide it. Jose…Vanessa…Vanjie… was my friend. Jose was getting married, and his future husband was joining us on a 3-week tour in Europe. Luckily, I’ll have Steve. 

Looking back at what Jose and I had, it was special. Like I said, I didn’t appreciate it like I should have. 

Why didn’t I just tell him? Because he was happy with Brady. I’ve met Brady a few times. He’s….decent, and Jose is content. 

_I see your face in strangers on the street_

“So, we have to be at the airport at 7pm.” Steve said. ,p>He had called to go over specifics for our flight that evening. I had a long night ahead of me. I already hadn’t slept much since Jose told me about Brady. 

“Brock?” Steve said, and I realized that I hadn’t answered him. 

“Right. Yeah. 7pm.” 

“I’ll pick you up at 6.” 

“And by 6 do you mean 6:30?” I rolled my eyes. 

“Fuck off, I mean 6.” Steve said with a laugh. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you-.” I stopped mid-sentence. 

Across the street was..Jose? No it wasn’t. But it looked enough like him. Jose was everywhere to me. 

“Brock, are you going to be okay?” Steve asked, knowingly. 

It was a loaded question. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll see you at 6.” 

_I still say your name when I’m talkin in my sleep_

“Brock.” Steve was shaking me awake. 

I groaned, annoyed. I had hardly slept in days and I finally get a good sleep in and he wakes me? 

We are on the plane heading overseas for the tour. 

“Brock, you were talking in your sleep.” 

Steve sound concerned. 

“No, I wasn’t.” I said, eyes still closed. 

Was I? I remembered what I was dreaming about, and suddenly I hoped that, no, I wasn’t talking in my sleep. 

“Yes, you were. Brock, you were talking about Jose.” 

Shit. __

_And in the limelight _

_I play it off fine _

_But I can’t handle it when I turn off my nightlight_

“Alright guys,” I said to our sold-out crowd, “I want to welcome to the stage, someone very near and dear to my heart. You all know who she is! Say it with me!” 

_“MISS…..VAAAAAAANJIE!”_

Jose walked out on stage looking amazing in this weeks Rihanna Realness outfit. I’m so happy that this part of his style hasn’t changed. He always looks stunning for the fans. I couldn’t help the softening of my heart as he danced and whipped himself around the stage with the passion I’ve always admired. My little firecracker. 

No. Not mine. Brady’s. 

Jose was a firecracker alright. He bobbed and dipped and pranced around the stage, giving the children a show. I watched with a goofy smile. 

“Brooke.” Steve cautioned, and I realized I was looking a little too soft. 

I nodded and built the ice wall back up a little. 

Once the show was over though, and I was back at the hotel, the darkness hit again. I was left with my thoughts, and sadness. 

_They say that true love hurts well this could almost kill me _

_Young love murder that is what this must be _

_I would give it all to not be sleepin alone_

I wish he was in my bed with me. The pain in my heart almost too much to bear. 

We almost got back together the summer after our season aired, but we were too busy. Jose joined Werq the World, and I was doing my own shows all across the country, around the world even. There was simply no time. 

_The life is fading from me while you watch my heart bleed _

_Young love murder that is what this must be_

Every kiss. Every hug. Every interaction between Jose and Brady was like a life through my heart. I don’t know if he saw it. I don’t know if he cared. I was Brock, his friend, not Brock, the man he loved. 

_I would give it all to not be sleepin alone_

But I was alone.


End file.
